p a s t o ♛ e j

5:22a - 16APRIL2010

To be loved is to be known, to be known is to be loved... okay, it might be the other way around... but just the same---to me, it is to know the self, too.

And then I found myself un-shy-ingly (=p) rehearsing some dreams... boldly story-ing some thoughts... spontaneously shared my currencies (as if He's not updated)... Asked old questions... Formulated new ones... Haha, I was so honest... For I certainly know there are no judgments; no restrictions; no doubt in the One who loves hearing and watching me [be]. 

In-Love... I guess it means---"to be inside this greatly perfect and perfecting kind of Love in Christ Jesus." Yes, in-this-Love. It is a state that makes one so much aware about the Lover and the Moment, otherwise, it's all in vain.


(woohoo-ing)

We hit the Bukidnon Road this week and heated Abbie's wheels (mom's birthday car--a white Avanza), her first long trip loaded us:

Some deets:
Dvo-CDO (6hrs): We spoke at the Summit that Ptr Nove setup for his network, Monday night-Tue morning; CDO-Malaybalay (2hrs), another speaking engagement with the Four Square Leaders (one of the features I love about the G12 Vision, it unites the Body of Christ! *wink*), their 50th Year, Tue night-Wed afternoon; Malaybalay-Valencia City (45min)---@LPZ, Cell Leaders' Summit. Thu AM: headed home. wheeeew!

*Bukidnon so cold, food so healthy! Wee! Val-Dvo (4hrs)---BCC finally!

It was quite a trip. Papaps, on the wheels the whole time. Mamams, beaning (to keep our driver and boss--haha--awake). I managed to let the hours pass with a lot of singing-along and talking to God (sweetest part!)--not much sleep this time. I was visited with a lot of thoughts--God's faithfulness to our family, the ministry, my parents, me, the relatives, news, years ahead, friends... oh how they come in beautiful random causing me to well up--unusually. I grabbed my Supergirl shirt and covered my face--kunwari, tulog! I couldn't stop. Things are weighty and altogether light. Even in the silence of my guests, sweet tears graced my weariness and my Joy, my questions and my Answer, my confusion and my Assurance, my fears and my Faith, my hopes and my Love---unifying them at one time.

Haaaay.

I was told women cry for many reasons, and for no reason at all. When does one become a woman? Is it at twenty-seven, or when she learns to cry?

At the height of the mushroom rise of social networking sites, our age slowly loses its balance in relating with people. Scratch that. Perhaps only mine--my careful act of evenness. And to this, I fail. Four years back, I was surrounded with thoughtful students who would carry my educate-the-young (haha) paraphernalia, tug most of my time to have chickahan with them--and we just couldn't have enough--they created me a Friendster account--to that extent--they're totally sweet! I wasn't that interested with online networking then. I wasn't even ready to completely consent my name that I have to hide it with a kunwari-brilliant cover. Waaaah. It took me around four months of their begging to put a face on that precious site. It became friendlier and I became at home. I enjoyed how simple "hi's" and CSS graphics made others feel remembered; and how replies communicate value. To some degree, I get updated at how my students were fairing, how my girls at church were behaving and how my relatives were doing. People act and say things differently in person and online--Which one is real?--I dunno. Perhaps somewhere in between. For all its comely reasons, the site became a darling vessel of some of my thoughts, friends and memory stills--KoK!

Now a Facebook regular and a Twitter neophyte (No, I don't have a MySpace account--or I did open an account for the family, and Reload I think... and Multiply--for Reload, still)--I get reunited with old friends and start creating new ones. More than connections, the [free] *yay!* social sites became home to my responsive thoughts. Hmm... thoughts... YM and Blogger became comfy hubs for me, too. I dunno about you, but all these sites help me let out  my wordy and wordless concerns. Not only that, on days I quiet my keyboard, my eyes busy themselves filtering in refined, rich and stagy thoughts from friends and strangers alike. A secret musing: I am amenably growing at their costly posts.

How could I not return the favor.

Unafraid, I let my thoughts slide, but there's still much held to keep my opacity--but I don't care if I slowly lose it as long as it has created beautiful etches of help and enlightenment--minus it, I'd look better as Ms. Woody. Every line drop, a revealing icon posted or dots of silence all compel my transparency--the need to be glassy. For how I wish I could always spill the beans! Information overload kaya? U won't need and won't be interested in them anyway. Let's just all go natural--never papansin. Sigh, some things are meant to be held concealed for a time. So, ladies and gents, girls and boys, I hope that right at this level of transparency we can all keep ourselves healthy and sane.

*wanna-speak-to-your-life,ready-to-be-touched-too* mode

Six AM at the Davao International Airport is scenic. Last Saturday, I was ready for boarding the Dvo-Zam flight when I finally-finally-finally realized, it was my first plane trip alone. Haaay... Magpaka-eagle ka, Rej.

Ptr. Elizabeth Inclan of Jesus Christ the Deliverer church in Zamboanga City booked me for their 10th Anniversary Celebration and Youth Reload (premiere). I had a grand time meeting new friends--who turned to be a new family! The couples who treated me with meals and rides were warm and lovely. Sana dumami ang lahi nila! And now, I miss them all.


I especially miss...

=> Ela--who accompanied me at Grand Astoria for two nights; On the first night, we gabbed waiting for midnight--it was going to be her birthday the next day--nagkaalaman!

=> Tita Letty--I'd sure visit your friend here in Davao! Thank you for touring me at the Paseo and the Regency. sooo nice!

=> Kuya Rading and wife, Ate Letty--Your testimony still grips me now. You are a great blessing. You were my parents Saturday night! You should come visit, Davao!

=> One-month old Emerald Overdeen Isaiah Inclan--my new godson! See you soon, pastor! (he smiles when I call him pastor!) =D

=> John Kelly & Kizha Almazan--I am soooo changed. Prayers & hugs are out to you guys! Faith is----. Grace is----. Yeah, you leave me blank! (SEE NOTE BELOW IF YOU WANT THE SPIEL)

=> All those I prayed for--You gave me an opportunity to minister in another level (thank You Holy Spirit); I thought I could only do well with young people ("Pastor" sounds good to the ear, too! And it made me say--Yeah, that's who I am!).

=> Ptr. Beth and family---I miss your chabacano accent! Thank you--thank you--thank you! (Bogota seemed so near!)
=> Mighty To Save---in spanish! woooh, i so love it! Bem, Lai and I were memorizing it since last year! I finally got to sing it in corporate worship! weee! =D

=> the Mt. Apo sight @7:37am--the great Mt. Apo and the six baby mountains with it (along with the Bukidnon hills) keep us from typhoons, you are gorgeous, Ms. Mountain. Now I know what you so eagerly expect there--that in me will be a revealed daughter of God! (Rom8:19)...woooh... The sight was short-lived, but you left me fuller.

Now I am home--with a new me! (missed fam and the eagurlz during the whole trip, your text messages helped me survive--naks!)