p a s t o ♛ e j

i was 5 minutes late last night but it's like i lost a lot of the moment. and i hate feeling like this. i hate being late.
nonetheless, the night went so, oh, awesome--in the sense of the word! we went back to the popular topic--40 signs of a rebel (and 5 additional insights!)... haha, we went through the first 15. and gurl, the painful truth made its cruel thrusts everywhere on me!
many times, i:
-obeyed partially... i do what's been said to me but does only a part of it.
-i know i don't know everything. but i do catch myself acting like i know. yeah, i know. but i don't.
-feel like i'm more spiritual than my leader...
-won't take part of the vision, if it;s losing its way! we have to conquer things, otherwise, they'll conquer us.
-am mixed. holy and profane at the same time.
-am not faithful in little things... do not finish my work
-do not follow directions well... being overly creative!
-am selfish... but the truth is, what good for me may not be good to me... learn sacrifice...
-am showing signs of not being thorough, diligent, or trustworthy
-am often very religious
-am fluent in religious verbal garbage
-hide my past sometimes
-am a blame-shifter
-make excuses for my mistakes... promise, i am not genetically a jerk! Excuse my parents for this! I run for excuses rather than solutions...

now, you can hear my ouches and ooohs!
oh God, thanks for teaching me!!!