p a s t o ♛ e j

i was 5 minutes late last night but it's like i lost a lot of the moment. and i hate feeling like this. i hate being late.
nonetheless, the night went so, oh, awesome--in the sense of the word! we went back to the popular topic--40 signs of a rebel (and 5 additional insights!)... haha, we went through the first 15. and gurl, the painful truth made its cruel thrusts everywhere on me!
many times, i:
-obeyed partially... i do what's been said to me but does only a part of it.
-i know i don't know everything. but i do catch myself acting like i know. yeah, i know. but i don't.
-feel like i'm more spiritual than my leader...
-won't take part of the vision, if it;s losing its way! we have to conquer things, otherwise, they'll conquer us.
-am mixed. holy and profane at the same time.
-am not faithful in little things... do not finish my work
-do not follow directions well... being overly creative!
-am selfish... but the truth is, what good for me may not be good to me... learn sacrifice...
-am showing signs of not being thorough, diligent, or trustworthy
-am often very religious
-am fluent in religious verbal garbage
-hide my past sometimes
-am a blame-shifter
-make excuses for my mistakes... promise, i am not genetically a jerk! Excuse my parents for this! I run for excuses rather than solutions...

now, you can hear my ouches and ooohs!
oh God, thanks for teaching me!!!

when coincidence collides with all that happens to your life, well, the world calls that simple fate... but in God's hands, it's always planned... nearing four years in the vision of raising up leaders who will make a difference in this world through Jesus, I am so amazed to see my girls really making it... once a year, all of our cells come together just to have fun and meet together. as always, we can never be complete. but that doesn't stop us. we were all up for the challenges set that day and we closed it happy, richer with friends, stronger as a family, and again, grown in discipline...

oil crisis.
rice crisis.
leadership crisis.
emotional crisis.
parenting crisis.

It's not just in the Philippines.
World wide, it is.
Crisis is a situation that has reached
an extremely difficult or dangerous situation.
This definition scares me.
But hey, I have heard that
the Chinese character for crisis








is a combination of [wei] and [ji].
meaning, dangerous (wei) + opportunity (ji).
Haha, crisis simply means
"opportunity" in danger!

So, get over with the long face
and start circling the eyes
in excitement of the dawning
of God's work--which actually becomes
evident--in the midst of crises!


*by the way, rejoice is 欣喜 or xīn xǐ
in Chinese!